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From the 2011 Suburban Sprawl Music Holiday Sampler.

lyrics

I'm so sick of people smiling
and being super nice to me
all that Yuletide extra miling
all that stupid red and green

all those bells that won't stop ringing
all those families having fun
I wish those assholes would stop singing
and it's clear something must be done

let's dominate the news
and take free speech away
we'll legislate the use
of "Happy Holidays"
from Washington to West Virgina
it's time we had a War on Christmas

We have meetings ever morning
at which we pray to communists
we force young girls to get abortions
we practice how to lie to kids

and if that scares you, please remember
we drink blood from babies hearts
and don't forget that gay agenda
courtesy of NPR

We will come for you
through the media
we shall persecute
with wikipedia
and then we'll make you study with us
it's time we had a War on Christmas

and if you think we're sinister
then go talk to your minister
he'll pass the plate and collect a bundle
for some missionaries hanging in the jungle
with illiterates who got nothing on them
but they still won't teach no one to use a condom
because no disease is quite as tragic
if you just believe in a magic man, oh yeah

a billion people still believe this
it's time we had a War on Christmas

credits

from Have Yourself A Very Little Christmas, released December 1, 2016
Mike Ambs - Drums
Joelle Barrios - Bass Guitar, Vocals, Tambourine
Erik Cline - Lead Guitar
Chris Hatfield - Rhythm Guitar, Vocals, Piano

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Love Axe Ojai, California

There are two types of people in the world: solipsists.

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